Absolutely Hilarious: Lina and her story of a Lebanese stalker

Last night I was kept up through a series of BBM (Blackberry Messenger) messages from my friend Lina back home in Lebanon. Lina is one of the infamous wackos in our group of 5. So I was up reading a little of this, and writing a little of that when I get a PING! on my Blackberry. So I pick it up and text back. This is how the conversation went (word for word):

Lina: PING!

Ali: Wliii, don't you know people are asleep at this time in Canada? lol

Ali: Whats up?

*Time passes by, and i get no reply whatsoever... its been 23 minutes now. Finally she answers*

Lina: You will not believe shu sar fiyyi hala2. (Translation: you will not believe what happened to me right now)

Ali: Kheir? (Translation: something good i hope - loool translations are messed btw)

Lina: I was walking on Bliss like 15 minutes ago and some jerk-off approached me. Obviously ignoring my efffing wedding ring.

Ali: well your in Lebanon buddy, i think you would have gotten used to it by now?

Lina: omg! ma t'janineh hala2 (Translation: dont drive me crazy), it started off as a "fi majjel net3araf" (Translation: can we get to know each other?) i said "no, akid la2, la2enno MITZAWJEH" (Translation: definitely NO, since im MARRIED).

Ali: ya ok? so you told him no... Lina you have to stop over

Lina: I'M NOT OVER EXAGGERATING. CAN I FINISH MY STORY?

Ali: tfadaleh

Lina: So the freak gets up and starts to follow me... by now ali im soo close to my parent's building, and I'm a little bit freaked. I cut the damn corner, the idiot was there.... it was like that damn Nelli Makdesi video clip Ouf Ouf. It was messed.

Ali: wth? What did you do?

Lina: the best thing to do...the only thing I'm a PROFESSIONAL at. I threw a fit. But sneakily. I stood there in the crowded corner of the street. He walked up to me thinking it was perfect , like I had stood there waiting to talk to him.

Ali: DID YOU?

Lina: He came closer, and slapped on a perverted rapist smile. I smiled back. He was now so close, I screamed so damn loud, and threw my bag onto the floor. I got a nice crowd of people around me, all wanting to know what he had done to me. So i told them how the idiot has been following me for the past 15 damn minutes. He was in a state of shock. I leaned over and smacked him flat on the face in the middle of the crowd. I proceeded to ask for someone to call the shorta (Translation: police), not like i wanted to call them...but to scare him a bit more. The chicken shit ran for his life.

Ali: :| Your one crazy girl... Linzzzzzz ignore it. Your in Lebanon, your going to get that 7ata in funerals these days. hahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha psycho. Did you tell Charbel?

Lina: Later tonight ill tell him, speaking of him he's here. Talk to you later hun. MWAH

*Three hours later i get a message from Charbel- My other bestfriend and her husband*

Ali: Heyyy

Charbel: I'm BBMing you to let you know im going to kill a stalker.

Ali: oh god. Have fun.

Charbel: i will.

Typical life in Lebanon now. Anjad guys? You think your going to pick up the hot girls by stalking them, and as Lina said "smile like a rapist?". No. haha But as much as it was dramatized (and Lina is veryyyyyyy DRAMATIC) i like what she did. More girls should do that. P.S. Here's the Nelli Makdesi video Lina was talking about, probably dressed the same way too lol. Enjoy :P